Tired, but not so cranky

I didn't get up this morning. I had a call that lasted until 3 a.m. so, that kind of wore me out. I mean, it's nice talking to people, but I am not a late night person, every single night in a row. Mom said to just unplug and turn off all the phones when I need sleep. I'm just worried that someone out there might desperately need someone else to talk to and call me. Silly, I know. So, anyways, I was a bit grumpy all morning.

Work went good. I played in the pool with my fellow guards and then with the kids. Josh brought me a grape soda. I think I have an 11 year old after me. Nah. I'm just nice to him. I think he needs that in his life. I mean, if he spends 90% of his time at the pool, you know there's not much for him at home. That's how most of the pool rats are. So, yeah, spent the last 2 hours or so dunking kids and playing with them. There are these 2 cute little 3 year old girls who come up. Their mom said they call me the "pool lady" at home. She asked for my name.

You know, I really hate being judged. People like to label me as this or as that, and really, they have no idea what they're talking about. I may open up in some ways and give the appearance of one thing or another, but really, that's just a snapshot in time. It just hurts to know sometimes what people label you as. I donno. I guess I'm just dumb. I need to deal with it and go on. That was part of what was upsetting me this morning too. I think it must have played through my head while I slept and was right there for me when I woke up.

I guess there's not much I can do to change how people perceive me. I mean there is, but I donno. Whatever. It is what it is.

I'm going to start working on my homework. I've gotten close to getting most of the stuff done that I need to, but there's still more to finish before Friday.

I'm amazed at how much work soothes me. It's the oddest thing, but going to the pool is soothing. Even when everything decides to go haywire, it's soothing. I'm just weird I know. I'm sure others who grew up around a pool would feel the same way though. It's like I go to work to relax. This is why I wanted to get back into this so much. If I could make a career out of doing this, I would. But...probably won't be able to. *sigh*

Ok, now I'm really off to do my homework.